Supposed to Say
by berryfuls
Summary: "I say it just I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to want you to leave." "Please tell me you don't." What happens when Andy shows up at Sam's apartment again? After 2x11.


**I started on this a few days ago and JUST NOW finished it. I feel like it's my last fic before I see the finale so I wanted to make sure I got this up :) Anyone else both really excited for the finale and dreading the season ending at the same time? That's me right now. My rookies are going into hibernation tonight! :(**

**As always, enjoy.**

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><p>"You shouldn't be here."<p>

The words are barely out of his mouth before she's closing the door behind her and turning back to him with a smirk. She's practically daring him to do something about it. They've known each other for too long to be able to call each other's bluffs. And if she isn't backing down, he might have to, instead. That give-and-take relationship had worked thus far for them; why not carry it over to whatever this is?

He sighs and steps forward into her personal space. "I'm serious. You can't keep showing up like this. It's putting both of us in danger." It's what he's supposed to think, what he's supposed to believe. They both know, however, that this is couldn't be farther from the truth.

She rolls her eyes, used to this speech. She leans forward and presses a kiss against his jaw. "Oh yeah? How so, J.D.?" she mumbles into his skin. He revels in the contact, having never been exposed to it for the vast majority of his life. How could something that brings so much joy cause so much pain?

"Andy, it was so incredibly stupid of you to come back here. I can't believe this." The words are spoken so softly Andy almost doesn't hear him. She does, though, and it's not like she can pretend that she didn't. She's trained her ears to be able to hear what he knows he has to say but doesn't want to. They both know that that describes this situation perfectly: what he has to say and do, but doesn't want to at all.

She nods in response. "I know. I just couldn't stay away from you." She says this gently but desperately, revealing the loneliness she's felt since she saw him last and when he first left for the op. He feels guilty for making her to experience that.

He figures that he may as well get it out now. He sighs but grabs her hand off his chest and holds it. "Look. I don't know how long this op is going to take. But I have to be focused on it, not you. When I get back, then we can try and figure out what this is." He motions between them despite the fact that she knows exactly what he means when he says 'this.' It's what she's wanted for far longer than she cares to admit.

She smiles up at him, not moving from his personal space. She thinks back on their shared past. To the day she blew his cover. To the day she ignored his orders and found Emily's files. To the day she disregarded his 'disregard' and went to him after the shooting. To the day she failed the hooker detail. To the day she only barely heard his warning about Luke. To the day he told her to have her partner's back and she did so only because her partner was her best friend. To all the times he's tried to protect her and she seems to completely overlook what he said. She thinks back to all these moments they've had together and finally murmurs, "When are you going to realize that I rarely do what you ask me to?"

He raises an eyebrow. He takes a brief moment to think back to a lot of the same moments when he counters, "When are you going to realize that most of the stuff I say I don't mean?" He whispers the words in her ear and she shivers with pleasure at the sensation of his breath against her skin. "I say it just I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to want you to leave."

"Please tell me you don't."

"I do want you to go because I don't want you to get hurt or in trouble because of this." Her face falls so he quickly adds, "But I also want you to stay because I've missed you so, so much." She smiles shyly and he can't help but smirk back. "And I don't think I've ever made it a secret of how much I've wanted you."

She grabs his other hand and pulls him out to the middle of his cover apartment. The movement is, for the most part, innocent but they both realize the unspoken motive behind it. He watches her carefully as she stares back at him with just as much caution.

It takes him a while to finally say what he's supposed to be saying to her. "Andy... You should really go."

She shakes her head stubbornly. "What happened to 'there's no going back?'" she asks quietly, sliding her hands up his hands to rest on his shoulders. He swallows nervously, knowing she has a point. He had basically told her last time they had seen each other that if she didn't leave him before anything happened, then he wasn't going to let her go. And while he refuses to just let her go that easily, he still needs to be sure that she wants to take this risk. He knows for a fact that he does.

He encircles her waist with his arms. "I won't consider your precautions with your life and job to be going back if you don't." She laughs, but she isn't sure whether it's at his sarcasm or the anxiety that's starting to form in knots around her stomach.

"I don't," she answered honestly and stands up on her toes to kiss him. "Ask me to stay," she whispers against his lips.

There are so many reasons he shouldn't. There's the chance of Brennan finding out, of Boyd and Best finding out, of her getting hurt away from him in this part of town. There's the obvious: he's undercover while she's still on patrol in uniform. It's so dangerous and risky and has the potential to end one or both of their careers. They could die because of this case.

But most of that barely even registers. All he can think of is how close she is and how much he wants this. The timing may be complete and utter crap –a problem she seems to struggle with a lot- but he's felt whatever there is between them since the very first day she knew him as Sam Swarek, the officer. That day she showed him just how good a cop she will one day become. He's wanted her since not long after.

And because of that, and because he's only human, he responds quietly, "Stay."


End file.
